Another Depressing Post

I can't explain how I feel. Alone, hopeless, no one to listen, no one to understand the turmoil inside me right now. I know Jesus does, but it isn't so easy when I feel like I need an audible word to hear from someone. I feel the tears welling up within me. I fight them back. Maybe what I need is a good cry.
Since coming to florida, the depression has gotten so much worse. I don't have my "circle of friends", I don't have my church, and I don't have someone to pick me up when I fall down. Someone to encourage me.
I heard a song on the radio last week, talked about having to get out and do things, about jumping in. I dont' remember the exact words, but it had to do with not standing on the sidelines anymore. It was on christian radio, wish I knew the name of it. I always feel like I am on the sidelines. The song had me in tears, Boo hoo, poor me. Even in social situations, I look at everyone, try to be normal, but I feel like I am on the outside looking in. I remember feeling like this as a teenager, I had friends around me, I was on the dance team at school, so why did I fell like I "didn't fit in?"

Not much to say, feeling kinda depressed today. No reason to feel this way 

Well, today we tried a new church. Wasn't at all impressed. It was so dry, so unmoving. I didn't feel God's presence at all. Everyone looked dead and cold, like they didn't want to go there, that it was just 'routine'. I feel like I am trying to hold each church we go to up to our old churchs' standards. This new church we tried, was Immanuel Baptist Church, in Pace Florida...I guess we are still looking.....