Another Depressing Post

I can't explain how I feel. Alone, hopeless, no one to listen, no one to understand the turmoil inside me right now. I know Jesus does, but it isn't so easy when I feel like I need an audible word to hear from someone. I feel the tears welling up within me. I fight them back. Maybe what I need is a good cry.
Since coming to florida, the depression has gotten so much worse. I don't have my "circle of friends", I don't have my church, and I don't have someone to pick me up when I fall down. Someone to encourage me.
I heard a song on the radio last week, talked about having to get out and do things, about jumping in. I dont' remember the exact words, but it had to do with not standing on the sidelines anymore. It was on christian radio, wish I knew the name of it. I always feel like I am on the sidelines. The song had me in tears, Boo hoo, poor me. Even in social situations, I look at everyone, try to be normal, but I feel like I am on the outside looking in. I remember feeling like this as a teenager, I had friends around me, I was on the dance team at school, so why did I fell like I "didn't fit in?"