More Rants about....

I didn't sent the letter to his teacher. Instead, I have made an appointment with is doctor to have him evaluated for any neurological disorders or ADD. I really don't want him medicated, because I don't believe he needs it, after all, I can sit with him and get him to work, I don't want to medicate him just to apease his teacher, know what I mean?
Socially he is great with his cousins, and his brother is his best friend, they are inseparable, even though is brother is 5 yrs older than he is. But, he doesn't seem to click with his classmates...he didn't last year, and didn't this year either. I remember being reclusive myself when I was in Elementary, middle and high school...I have to force myself to be sociable as an adult. I remember my mother used to force me into social groups and situations, I would get sick to my stomach before going to the skating rink, I was nervous, and I still get nervous being around people sometimes. But, as an adult in my early 30's, I think I am learning to get around my insecurities most of the time. Marie can clue ya in on my reclusiveness, she has dragged me out to lunch many times, and I wouldn't be a scrapbooker now if she didn't invite me to a scrapbooking thingy, I was a major recluse before meeting her. ((BIG HUGS))

My husband observed my sons class one day in October 2007, and he said it is very chaotic in there and he came home with a long list of things he saw was wrong that went on and worked against Elijah in regards to keeping him on task. She is an experienced teacher, she has grown kids I believe, and she actually told me in one of our meetings that she has never seen a kid as bad as Elijah as far as not being attentive in class...Well Really then! ...she has never had to deal with my older son when he was Elijahs age, lol. She said Elijah was well behaved, but he sat there and daydreamed all day long, or drew on his papers. Now she says he is hiding his work so he doesn't have to do it. I questioned him about it, and he says he is only hiding his reading books, but still, he shouldn't be doing that. His major complaint about school...he says it is boring. She even suggested to me that he is bored with school because he watches to much TV. Bologna! That boy colors and draws more than he watches tv. LOL.

As far as communication with the teacher goes...it is crap. He has a daily folder that comes home, and it either has a smilie face like this :-) or like this :-l She doesn't usually comment on what he does wrong, except for this month, I noticed she started writing...not doing work when he has the non smilie face. My complaint about the communication in the past....I usually didn't know anything was wrong until she scheduled a meeting. The first time I found out something was wrong was at Open house...and we were floored because he was getting smilie faces everyday! Tell me that doesn't send mixed messages.

We have gone through the whole sticker thing, she didn't stick to it, I bought the stickers, she gave them for a little while then stopped. It is really hard to find something that keeps him motivated, we tried retriction, didn't work. Tried no tv, didn't work. Because he sits and draws alot of the time. You should see the HUGE stack of papers he saves with his artwork on it, all done on my computer paper, lol.

Anyhow, thanks for listening, I Just needed to get all this out. I have an appt for him next wens with his doc, then I am gonna try to get an appt with his teacher the same day. I really do appreciate all the advice and encouragement...sometimes I feel all alone in this, but knowing I can post here and have my friends give me advice really helps alot.

Luff ya all




UPDATED: Should I send this to Elijah’s teacher???


Here is my reply to the comments:



Thanks for the advice everyone. We have been having 'meetings' all year long. I am constantly telling them how he acts at home, she is constantly telling me how he doesn't do his work. She actually said to me that she could let him sit there and not notice him all day he was that quite, and he wasn't disruptive. He sits and draws or daydreams she says. They gave him all sorts of tests, still no conclusion. This school is in it's 3rd year, this year it failed to meet the no child left behind criteria, and to me it is overcrowded. I just really feel like the school has dropped the ball. I mean I have had several meetings, signed papers to do testing. I feel like he is slipping through the cracks all because she has 22 kids to just her as a teacher. I offered to come help, they didn't take me up on it.
They always seem to focus on him being 'anti social' and stuff that I just don't see in him. When he is with other kids at home, ie cousins or other kids that may occasionally be around, he is fine. I did observe him last year on a field trip, and he did look at a couple of the kids funny like he didn't like them, but with his brother and cousins, he is fine.
It just seems like our meetings always end up being about his social behavior and him not talking to other kids and keeping to his self too much. Sheesh. I just don't know what to do. I have worked with his teacher in the past, and I really don't think she cares for him and is just washing her hands of him. I think I am going to talk to the principle or counselor.





Ok, I sat down to write a letter to her, should I send this to her?

Here goes:

February 27, 2008

Mrs. Kidwell,



Sorry for the delay in getting back with you. I have had health issues and been in a lot of pain lately.

But, about Elijah… I worked with him this weekend (as I have in the past as well), and Monday and Tuesday night and he works for me no problem. He zips through his first grade workbook (one I bought) and gets it done fast without complaining, and he does great at his math, he seems to like it. We have even heard him counting in his sleep as well. I wholeheartedly do not believe he needs to be held back. If anyone is at fault here, it is you and I, and the school. I include you, because you are in control of your class and should be able to get him to do his work. You are the one that allows him to sit there all day and do nothing but draw. And myself, because I haven't worked with him as much as I could have, but when I do, he does work for me.

I volunteered for room mom at the beginning of the year, not once have you asked me to come in and help…and I would have with bells on. I think maybe my presence in the room might have helped him. Why do you not have an aid to help you with the kids? I believe Elijah needs more direct attention to make sure he is doing what he needs to be doing.

He even gets to school early two days a week (for his brothers tutoring), times he could be sitting and getting extra help from you, his teacher. My older son gets the tutoring help he needs after and before school…why has anyone not offered to help in this matter? It seems to me like you are so quick and willing to throw him under the bus in this matter and just fail him because it is easier for you to do than getting him to do things your way…instead of figuring out how to teach him best for the way he needs to learn.

When I was talking to Elijah the other night, I was surprised when he told me that if he did good, that YOU would not be proud of him for it. Because I told him that if he did his work in class for you, that you would be proud of him…he flat out told me that you wouldn't be. And in the past told me he felt like you didn't like him. My husband and I personally feel this way as well. I have seen you roll your eyes while in a meeting with me about Elijah…I am sure Elijah probably picks up on your personal feelings as well, thus the reason he told me that you didn't like him. I sure hope he and I are wrong about this.

Instead of being so quick to judge him and fail him, why do you not give him the extra help I think he needs, the extra push and encouragement in class? If he isn't working why don't you sit him next to you to do his work? Don't let him draw on his work. I personally told him last night, he is not to do it anymore, and that he better not do it unless he is supposed to?

You need to be more sympathetic to his needs in the classroom. He is going through a tough time right now. His father is deployed, we almost never hear from him because of the ship he is on. I think they have only been in port to call three times…so, Elijah inwardly is stressed out I am sure, as well as myself.

I understand he can be hardheaded sometimes, and needs some encouragement to get him going. His problem I believe is that you don't have enough time to make sure he is doing what he needs to be doing. If you had, from the beginning of the school year, he might not be trying to hide his work. He has learned to do what you have let him away with in your class. I am not saying be cruel or mean to him, just make sure he has and understanding of what he is supposed to be doing, and watch to make sure he is doing it.

I am sorry if this comes across as harsh, I just don't know how to say it any other way at this point. I don't know what to do or say. I am almost tempted to home school him, and if he is failed, that is likely to be what I do, or to have him put in a private school if we can somehow afford it. But I would rather public school be a good experience for him.

It isn't that I just don't want him held back; I really don't think he needs to be. Now last year, I held back my older son, because I felt he needed it (his teacher would have passed him if I had wanted it). Elijah knows his work, he has lack of interest sometimes, but making him sit through another year of the same thing will make no difference, unless he has a teacher more attentive to his learning needs. But I would rather him not repeat…he doesn't need it.

I hope there is a way we can get this figured out and taken care of in the interest of what is best for Elijah. If you want him moved from your class, at this point, I am up for it. But something needs to be done. Either that, or more help for him in the classroom from you or an aide.


Hope we can get this taken care of,


Mrs. Collins

((end of letter))



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