Update on Me....

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It has been awhile since I have written. Things were going pretty good for a few weeks. I had made a decision that I couldn't live with this depression. I had to get up out of bed, and do things, be a better mom, a better wife, and a better friend.
I had friends over to scrapbook, and for lunch, just to have some fun and socialize. Then out of the blue, last week, one of my online friends passed away. She had just turned 30, and leaves behind three small children. We are a close group of online moms, only a handful of us in the group, we pray for each other, give each other advice and love each other. So, it was a huge blow. Then the next morning, a sister in law of one of the moms in the group was killed in a drunk driving accident, at the hands of her husband who is now in jail. She also leaves behind young kids.
It all brought back bad memories of mom's passing, and of my own mortality. I had nightmares that night, so I tossed and turned and couldn't sleep. I had bad dreams about mom being dead, her funeral was strange, then she got up, and was sick and walking around, then she was dying again, over and over again. So, I slept all of the next day, Christian, my 10 yr old didn't make it to school, because mommy couldn't get out of bed. I have been in kind of a fog since then. And then yesterday, I was in the most severe pain I can remember in a long time. My fibroid tumors have started making my menstrual cycle extremely painful. I felt like my uterus was being ripped out, this went on for a day and a half. Now the worst of it is over. I don't know how many more cycles like this I can handle; the pain had me near tears. If I have another month like this, I am gonna make another appointment with my doctor. She wanted me to wait six moths for an ultrasound, but it has been only about a couple months. Anyhow. I guess that was my quick update. Whoever reads this, please pray for my mental health and physical health.