I Cannot Pray �
I cannot say "OUR" if my religion has no room for others and their needs.
I cannot say "FATHER" if I do not demonstrate this relationship in my daily life.
I cannot say "WHO ART IN HEAVEN" if all my interests and pursuits are in earthly things.
I cannot say "HALLOWED BE THY NAME" if I, who am called by his name am not holy.
I cannot say "THY KINGDOM COME" if I am unwilling to give up my own sovereignty and accept the righteous reign of God.
I cannot say "THY WILL BE DONE" if I am unwilling or resentful of having it in my life.
I cannot say "ON EARTH AS IT IS IN HEAVEN" unless I am truly ready to give myself to his service here and now.
I cannot say "GIVE US THIS DAY OUR DAILY BREAD" without expending honest effort for it or by ignoring the genuine needs of my fellow men.
I cannot say "FORGIVE US OUR TRESPASSES AS WE FORGIVE THOSE WHO TRESPASS AGAINST US" if I continue to harbor a grudge against anyone.
I cannot say "LEAD US NOT INTO TEMPTATION" if I deliberately choose to remain in a situation where I am likely to be tempted.
I cannot say "DELIVER US FROM EVIL" if I am not prepared to fight in the spiritual realm with the weapon of prayer.
I cannot say "THINE IS THE KINGDOM" if I do not give the King the disciplined obedience of a loyal subject.
I cannot say "THINE IS THE POWER" if I fear what my neighbors and friends may say or do.
I cannot say "THINE IS THE GLORY" if I am seeking my own glory first.
I cannot say "FOREVER" if I am too anxious about each day's affairs.
I cannot say "AMEN" unless I honestly say, "Cost what it may, this is my prayer."
@Sent by Tom Wilkerson 

I know I haven't posted in awhile. Been alittle busy, we are settled in now. I have been suffering from lack of sleep and depression. At night, I lay in bed and toss and turn. Thoughts of mom in my head, thoughts of her illness and death. I pray, and sing praise songs in my head, but the thoughts wander back into my mind. I finally fall asleep when my body is too exhausted to stay awake. Then, I sleep late, but not quality sleep, because I can't sleep well during daylight hours, and the kids and animals keep me awake. I took ambien three nights in a row, and had the best sleep ever, i wasn't depressed for those days. I really believe that me not being able to sleep has had a profound affect on my depression, and lack of being able to get anything done. I am gaining weight too. I need to get back control of myself...so, for my friends reading this, please continue to pray for me. Don't think my life is absolutely miserable, because it is not. It is just that I am having a hard time dealing with the loss of my mother, my sister seems to be moving on ok...but I linger in my grief and mourning the loss of my beloved mother and friend. Life most go on, I will pray daily, and proceed as best I can with my daily routines, I have children who need me, I guess I need to remind myself of that also...kinda hard when you feel so sleep deprived.

I went to a womens retreat this past weekend, it was nice, I finally was able to praise God for the first time since losing mom. I believe I had built up a wall, and was afraid to break it down. At the retreat, after taking communion, we sang How Great Thou Art, and I cried alot while I was praising God...it felt great to open up to the Father again. But, I have a long way to go. I am reading a book called Motherless Daughters (letters), it is good so far. From what I have read from the letters from other women who have lost their mothers is that you never 'get over' it. Your grieve just changes, doesnt' hurt as bad as it did in the early days. Your life markers became "pre moms death" and "post moms death." I figured that out early on. When I think of things that have happened in life, I say "before mom died" when referring to things that happened before her passing. Or I will say, "when mom was still with us" or "before mom left us." I guess I will learn how to live without my mother, but I hang on to that blessed hope that I will see her in heaven one day. 

Coffee Cups.....(sent to me by a friend)
A group of alumni, highly established in their careers, got together to
visit their old university lecturer. Conversation soon turned into
complaints about stress in work and life. Offering his guests coffee, the
lecturer went to the kitchen and returned with a large pot of coffee and
an assortment of cups: porcelain, plastic, glass, some plain-looking and
some expensive and exquisite, telling them to help themselves to hot
coffee.

When all the students had a cup of coffee in hand, the lecturer said: "If
you noticed, all the nice-looking, expensive cups were taken up, leaving
behind the plain and cheap ones. While it is normal for you to want only
the best for yourselves, that is the source of your problems and stress.
What all of you really wanted was coffee, not the cup, but you
consciously went for the better cups and are eyeing each other's cups."

"Now, if Life is coffee, then the jobs, money and position in society are
the cups. They are just tools to hold and contain Life, but the quality of
Life doesn't change." "Sometimes, by concentrating only on the cup, we
fail to enjoy the coffee in it."

So please, don't let the cups drive you...enjoy the coffee instead. Being
happy does not mean everything is perfect. It means you have decided to
see beyond the imperfections.

Amen! 

I know I never told anyone how my birthday was, so here it is:

I woke up sad, wishing I could sleep all day and skip my birthday all together. I was so depressed that the woman who brought me into this world was no longer with me to celebrate my birthday. Well, the day drug on and I was still miserable...until I went out to dinner for my birthday with my sister and family. My hubby and kids were there, one of my cousins and her husband, my sister and her family, and some friends of the family. Also, one of my best friends from high school found out I was celebrating my birthday at this restraunt and she dropped by too. We had seafood, cake and fun. Dh got me a brand new camera, I love it. Afterwards my sister went with my dh and I too see a movie, other than the movie, the night was great.
Mothers day: Another day I was dreading. But, as the day approached, I started to feel not too bad, still sad though. We missed church, but later in the day we went out to eat chinese food, although my husband didn't go because he was still starving himself at that point. After lunch we all went to moms grave and put flowers on it. I just felt that I needed to still honor her on mothers day, even though she is no longer with us anymore. Anyhow, just wanted to let everyone know a little of what has been going on.