Wednesday, February 15, 2006

Update on Me....


It has been awhile since I have written. Things were going pretty good for a few weeks. I had made a decision that I couldn't live with this depression. I had to get up out of bed, and do things, be a better mom, a better wife, and a better friend.
I had friends over to scrapbook, and for lunch, just to have some fun and socialize. Then out of the blue, last week, one of my online friends passed away. She had just turned 30, and leaves behind three small children. We are a close group of online moms, only a handful of us in the group, we pray for each other, give each other advice and love each other. So, it was a huge blow. Then the next morning, a sister in law of one of the moms in the group was killed in a drunk driving accident, at the hands of her husband who is now in jail. She also leaves behind young kids.
It all brought back bad memories of mom's passing, and of my own mortality. I had nightmares that night, so I tossed and turned and couldn't sleep. I had bad dreams about mom being dead, her funeral was strange, then she got up, and was sick and walking around, then she was dying again, over and over again. So, I slept all of the next day, Christian, my 10 yr old didn't make it to school, because mommy couldn't get out of bed. I have been in kind of a fog since then. And then yesterday, I was in the most severe pain I can remember in a long time. My fibroid tumors have started making my menstrual cycle extremely painful. I felt like my uterus was being ripped out, this went on for a day and a half. Now the worst of it is over. I don't know how many more cycles like this I can handle; the pain had me near tears. If I have another month like this, I am gonna make another appointment with my doctor. She wanted me to wait six moths for an ultrasound, but it has been only about a couple months. Anyhow. I guess that was my quick update. Whoever reads this, please pray for my mental health and physical health.
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2 comments:

Dionna said...

Michelle, I will be praying for you. Have you tried praying in the name of the Lord and telling Satan to release this stronghold over you in the Lord's name? Don't let him be victorious in this area of your life. You only have one life -- no repeats. I believe in you.

Anonymous said...

Greetings from Asia. i use to suffer from the most awful cramps. the pain was just like the way you described. Painkillers didn't help so my mummy obtain a chinese herbal recipe from someone who knows someone who knows someone blah blah..
after taking a couple of times, it worked!! that was a couple of years ago and im still on it because chinese medicine is a continous process.
then i found out why i had such bad & irregular cramps. i was diagnosed with PCOS, like fibroids.
my suggestion is this, ask around for recommendations of a reliable chinese doctor or chinese herbalist. Chinatowns would be the most obvious way to start at. Keep an open mind. It may just work for you.
It's not easy having to take the herbs long time because you must brew them but I'm glad my mummy got the receipe.
The receipe may not be suitable for you and thus that is why I'm not giving it to you here. Chinese herbal adjusts your Ying & Yang and so everyone has different needs.

Take care of yourself & love.