Yesterday & the Morning...

Gosh, looks like no yard work today. It is pouring outside, and we are currently under a tornado watch or something like that. I woke up at 9am, by the sound of rain. I looked at the clock, and saw that it was 9am; I couldn't believe it was still dark inside the house, I looked outside and the rain was coming down in barrels, and the clouds were black! So, guess it is inside today for me and the boys. What about dear hubby? Ahhh.... he is in Texas right now, probably having nice weather. He left yesterday for a cross-country flight that will keep him there till Sunday evening.

I am telling ya, I had such a hard time falling asleep last night. There is something creepy about being in the country, living in the woods, in a big house and alone at night with just the kids. I kept praying for Gods protection. I even kept getting up and checking on the boys. Now it is morning, and the kids and I are ok. Thank you Lord.

Yesterday was pretty good. It started off bad, because I was grumpy about my birthday the previous day…. then, I got online to check my email and saw that two of my best friends from high school signed my guest book. I was so happy to hear from them…and they wished me a happy birthday!!! Sherri and Sonya were gals on the dance team with me, called “The Pony Express”, now those were some happy days. High school was a blast!! I attended Middleburg High School in Middleburg, Florida, aka: Redneck Tech or Hillbilly High. LOL - We all graduated in June of 1994. I actually missed my 10-year reunion last year because we were in the process of moving from Virginia to here in Milton, Florida…thanks a lot United States Navy!! Just kidding, I love the Navy.

Anyhow, after getting cheered up by the emails from my old school pals, I headed off to Benny Russell Park in Pace. Elijah at first was kinda clingy, wanted me to stay with him, then he was off to play abit. He was in the sandbox when we heard a loud “POP”, and then seconds later, loud crackling and a huge lightshow from a transformer exploding. There was smoke all around and the kids and parents freaked out. A lot of them left. One of the ladies I was with called 911, at that point we were sure the trees were going to catch fire due to the smoke. But shortly after the call, the smoke dissipated and there was no fire. The police and firemen showed up and then shortly left. Elijah continued to play, then he got lost up in a big maze that looked kinda like a wooden castle, he was crying that he couldn’t find me and that he was lost. I freaked, I tried to find him in all the mazes and couldn’t. I had to get another kid that was his age, to bring him down, come to find out, there was a hidden entryway easily missed that I kept passing. He was above me and I couldn’t figure out how to get to him. Well, after getting him out we headed home. He got over it and wants to go to the park again.

On the way home, I stopped at Wendy’s to get him a chicken nugget kids meal because he was hungry. At home, I changed clothes and headed out for a little yard work. I will post before and after pictures when I am done. I also mowed the lawn also, well, what little lawn we have, a lot of it died cause we didn’t rake up all the leaves after hurricane Ivan, but it isn’t too bad, I am going to add some centipede grass seed. Anyhow, this is all for now. I will write more tonight if I have the time.


 

Well, my mom and dad did call late last night to tell me happy birthday, and my inlaws called too, so I feel better about that. My sister even called today and left a message around 2 am, mind you, the day after my birthday, but at least she remembered late. I guess I wouldn't be so upset about all this if it was my 29th birthday, or my 31st birthday. I was gonna make myself a birthday cake, and thought, no, I don't want to take that away from my husband, he might get offended if I make my own cake and not let him have the chance to get me one. Well, he didn't get me one, and what really upset me was when my boys asked me why I didn't have a birthday cake, I told them, "Well, cause daddy didn't get me one." What else could I say, that was when I really got sad. I went to bed around 10:30, then couldn't sleep cause I was so sad. I guess I expected something grand for my BIG 30! Well, here is hoping for a great 50th birthday instead...that is considered the next BIG birthday isn't it? 

Oh, just wanted to add. My just us moms group, that I have belonged to for almost 5 yrs has all wished me a happy birthday. And also my stamping up consultant Elizabeth and some great military wives I know from my group militarywives4christ.com. Also, my sweet friend Matthew, who turns 71 Tomorrow!! Happy early birthday Matthew!! 

Happy Birthday to Me...

Well, Today is the big day, my 30th birthday. This is a day that I thought would be special...ya know, kinda a milestone birthday. I really don't care about being 30, I can remember when I was little and my mom was turning thirty, you would've thought someone had died she was so upset and sad. A couple years ago, I threw a surprise birthday party for a friend of mine that turned 30...no one has done that for me, leaving me very disappointed. I know this sounds pathetic, but hey, this is my blog, and I will cry if I want to...LOL. Not one of my friends has called me to say happy birthday, my best friend did call, but she didn't remember my birthday, so I didn't say anything. My parents haven't even called, neither has my only sister. I guess I am forgettable. My husband was sweet and left me a birthday card on the kitchen counter this morning, and took me out to dinner at ruby tuesdays. Even the boys were so sweet today, they both helped me out in the yard, pulling weeds and stuff. I guess I am just a little sad, last year, back in Virginia, our neighbor had a 30th birthday party, the whole culdesac was filled up like a parking lot, and we had a big culdesac. I need to just rejoice in my heart that God has blessed me, so that I may bless others. This may be God wanting me to be more sympathetic to all others in the future on special occasions. If that is why everyone has forgotten, well, then that is ok with me....But I think I need some "forgivenall." 

YOU WERE PLANNED FOR GOD’S PLEASURE

This is from the reading I did today, from “The Purpose Driven Life.” This chapter really made me smile as I read it today.

CHAPTER 8

Purpose #1 YOU WERE PLANNED FOR GOD’S PLEASURE

* They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the LORD for the display of his splendor. Isaiah 61:3 (NIV)
* You created everything, and it is for your pleasure that they exist and were created. Revelation 4:11 (NLT)
* For the LORD takes delight in His people: He crowns the humble with salvation. Psalm 149:4 (NIV)

Wow, God created us for His pleasure, not to rule over us, or to bully us, but because it pleased Him to do so. Wow, that gives me a warm fuzzy. After reading chapter 8 of the PDL, I know that my first purpose in life is to bring enjoyment to God with my life. When we begin to fully understand this truth, there is no more room for feeling insignificant, unimportant, or like you have no purpose in life. Just this morning, before reading this, on the way to take my son to school, I was pouting inside about feeling unimportant as a stay at home mom, asking God, “What is my Purpose, it can’t be just this?” Only for Him to reveal this truth to me in today’s reading of “The Purpose Driven Life.”

From the scriptures above, we know that we were created for God’s pleasure and his glory. One thing we can do to bring God glory and pleasure is to abide in him, to live every moment for Him as an act of Worship. Something as little as cleaning your house can be done to the glory of God, and for his pleasure…how? Place it before God as an offering, keep your thoughts constantly on Him, and perform your daily tasks with an awareness of His presence.

Rick Warren said this about his wife: “When I first fell in love with my wife, I thought of her constantly: while eating breakfast, driving to school, attending class, waiting in line at the market, pumping gas – I could not stop thinking about this woman! I often talked to myself about her and thought about all the things I loved about her. This helped me feel close to Kay even though we lived several hundred miles apart and attended different collages. By constantly thinking of her, I was abiding in her love. This is what real worship is all about – falling in love with Jesus.” (Page 67 The Purpose Driven Life)

Ask yourself this daily: “What common task could I do for the glory of God, and do as if I were doing it directly for Jesus?”
 

Here is what I did a few weeks or more ago for the boys... Their rooms were constantly a mess, It would take me hours to clean them, because the kids wouldn't clean them the way I wanted them. So, I decided I wasn't gonna do it anymore, no more two rooms to clean....here is what I did:

I put both the boys beds in one bedroom, and their dressers and clothes in the room with the beds...so now they share a bedroom with bunk beds. Prior to doing that, they had both had tv's in their bedrooms, and I had problems with getting them to go to bed at night, they would sneak and watch tv, or play with toys. So, by putting the bunk beds together in the "bedroom" with no toys, and no tv, it is great, they go to sleep no problem, they are a little 'chatty' some nights but not like before. Before, my four year old would be awake til dawn watching tv and playing, I was at my wits end. So now, they have a playroom, all the toys are in there in two different toy boxes, there are two tvs, one hooked up to video games, and one hooked up to dvd/vcr player. So each night before bed, I say, "ok, time for bed, lets go clean up the toy room" then they brush their teeth and etc, and I put them to bed. I can tell ya, after the first night or two of them having to pick up their own toys in the playroom, they now keep it very clean on their own, only a little bit of toys taken out at a time, cause they know they will end up having to pick them up. I don't know what motivated me to do all this, but I am so glad I did it. I get to go to sleep earlier and spend quite time with my husband watching tv or talking without the kids getting out of bed and playing with toys. 

SHADOW....On a happier note, last week shadow went to the vet, she is healthy and now has her vaccinations....and I am out 120 dollars...LOL. But she is worth it. Once we know for sure that she is not pregnant, then we will get her fixed. But if she is pregnant, we will let her have the kittens and when they are weaned, we will have Shadow fixed. 

GOOD-BYE SASSY.....Well, after two weeks, we gave up on sassy. She hated our other animals, she stayed hidden all day in our room, and at night when she came out to eat and potty, the scowling and hissing would keep us up all night. I swear it sounded like cougars on animal planet. Thankfully, we found a home for her today, a nice lady came by to see her, held her for awhile then decided she wanted her. Now it will be so much quieter around the house at night when we are sleeping. I hope she has a great new home. Happy Trails to Sassy. 

Christian had a game last night, boy it was agonizing to watch....they lost 3-13. Christian still had fun though, he loves it. Today I haven't really done much. I did the dishes, a couple loads of laundry and some vacumming. Will probably do some more later. 

Here are the boys opening day at the park. 

Opening day at the Park

Wow, where do I begin, we had a busy, busy weekend. The boys had their first game this weekend. I had to have them at the baseball park at 7:45am for pictures, then christian had his pictures an hour later, then we had opening ceremonies. Elijah's t-ball game was at 11am, then Christians game was at noon. Following Christians noon game he had another game at three. Huck and I were so sunburned when we got home. I left about 2:30 in the afternoon, cause I had been there all day, Huck got to the field at around 11. Huck and Christian didn't get home til around 6:30, what a long day for Christian!!! Elijahs team won their game, Christians team lost the first one and won the second one. Huck and I were so burned we had to rub lots of noxema on to alleve some of the burn pain and hotness. And we set the air conditioner that night to 65.
Anyhow, I am anxious to see how this baseball/t-ball season will play out, with it being both the boys' first years. Since saturday, we have had a game on sunday (which elijah missed cause no one told us about it, go figure) And Elijah and christian had a game on monday night, and Christian had a game tonight and then elijah has a game this coming thursday while Christian has practice., and then Christian has an away game this saturday in Navarre. I never knew that baseball had so many games in one week! Whew! But, both the boys love it!!

Well, today was unproductive, well, not totally, I scheduled two doctor apts for christian, and one for me. I called the Vet to check on the prices to get Shadow fixed/declawed and vaccinated, gonna cost around 300 dollars!! So, I told hubby I better get started selling some stuff on ebay. LOL On a different note: The boys were supposed to have T-ball/baseball practice tonight, and I got them all dressed, cleats on and all, got them in the car, tried to start it, and nothing!! Didnt even try to turn over. I figure there is some reason God didn't want them to go today. Other than that, so far, pretty uneventful day. 

Wow, by the end of the night last night I was exhausted!!! I got my entire bedroom cleaned, I even shampooed the carpet. So, by midnight I was in bed, but wouldn't ya know it, I couldn't sleep. I tossed and turned all night long. I think it may be the diet pills I am on...which is giving me all this motivation/engery to clean. Update on Sassy, our new cat, she is so funny, she slept in our closet all day long yesterday, just to avoid the other cats and our dog pippin. At night she comes out to eat and go potty. When it was time for me to go to be, i put her in the laundry room because I am still watching her to learn what she will or won't get into. This morning Sassy was confronted by the two other cats and the dog at the same time, she hissed and groweled saying, leave me the h*ll alone!! Then when they all backed off of her, Pepper, our male cat decided to chase her around the house, which lead her right back to our closet, nice and safe near the shoes. So funny the way animals act, almost the way humans do. LOL 

Whew, I am exhausted, just got done cleaning out my closet (big walk in) and most of our bedroom. Got tons more spring cleaning to do. I have taken clothes that I havent' worn at least in a year, and put them in a donate pile, took all the ones with stains/rips and put them in the trash....ugh, still more to do, but I am proud of what I have done so far. 

Well, I excercised this morning and boy was it tireing....know how long I excercised? A whopping 10 minutes!!! Ugh, at least it is a start, lol. I will post my progress. 

Christian is getting ready for school, I hope to get an hour or two of more sleep after I drop him off. :-) We will see, lol 

Last night we brought in a cat we have been feeding outside. We have named her Shadow. She slept in our bedroom with us. Pepper as usually slept in the boys room, and Sassy slept in the laundry room (til I can figure out what do to with my porcelain dolls) Sassy loves to get way up top on our double stacked dresser with them, I am so worried they will get broken. Pippin, as usual was in our room too. 

Here is my newest Neice: Gabriella Angel Larson was born 6:12 PM EST on Friday April the 8th. She weighs 7 lbs and 7.8 oz, and is 20" long. Top of Form 1
Bottom of Form 1
 

Something has been weighing on me...here it is. Well, I had pretty much decided that I don't want any more kids, I don't think I can handle more mentally and physically, anyhow, here is what happened. Last week I was picking up my vaccume from being repaired at the kirby shop in town, and before I left, the old man asked me how many kids I had, I told him two, and their ages. He asked if I was done, and I said yeah, I think so. He asked me why, so I told him it is just too hard being a military wife and taking care of kids alone during deployments and etc. He told he that was no excuse. He told me I was cheating my kids for not having anymore, then proceeded to show me the picture of he and his wife...and their 12 kids, wowser. He is in his late 60s I am guessing, and has a thirteen year old still at home,the rest grown at home. Well, sine leaving there last week, I have been wondering, am I cheating my kids by not having more? Am I being selfish for not having more kids? 

Sassy is doing good. I wouldn't cally her sassy, I would call her Snobby. She is avoiding pepper and pippin. Pippin sleeps under our bed at night, and Sassy tried to also, there was some hissin and growling going on when she found out the Pippin was under there. She ended up on top of my dresser which is so tall it almost touches the ceiling. I can't have that, cause my collectible porcelian dolls are up there right now. So, I wll figure out how to keep her off the furniture. Pepper is trying really hard to get to know her, he is following her all over the house, sniffing each place that she goes. Animals are so funny.
 

This weekend was nice. My mom and dad came and visited for two nights, then left for florida to visit my sister who just had her 5th baby!! Good grief...lol. Well, I have gotten alot done, I missed doing so much when my back was pulled out. I finally have most of the spring cleaning done. 

Stigma
Sick in the pit of my stomach with uncertainty
For what purpose is my life to be?
With madness, sadness and fear inside me.
Engulfed with feelings but I do not speak --
For I fear the stigma these feelings will bring,
I fear for my pride, I am too weak.

Too whom do I seek for comfort and healing?
A shoulder to lean on - a friend who loves at all times.
A counselor of hopes and love for my well-being.
Someone to hear me when I need to be heard,
To pick me up when I have fallen down.
A rescuer from loss of hope and despair,
…Can’t seem to be found.


(I wrote this when I was majorly depressed, I am over it now) 

Gosh, it has been awhile. Well, I was out with a pulled out back for three weeks, it has been two weeks since I have been getting up and around. I am really progressing, I am out working in the yard now, well, not right this instance, lol. I can move furniture again, my back just gets alittle stiff. I have so much stuff to do, after three weeks of not being able to do anything, and with two messy kids and a hubby too busy to clean...sheesh.